The Hat Contest
by Windrises
Summary: Tarrant competes with a fellow hat seller to get the honor of being Underland's best hat seller.


Notes: Alice in Wonderland was created by Lewis Carroll and the live action films are owned by Disney.

Alice Kingsleigh entered Tarrant Hightopp's hat shop. Alice said, "Hi Tarrant. How's your hat business going?"

Tarrant Hightopp responded, "It's going mostly well. I accidentally sold a hat full of tea to a customer. The tea stained his fancy suit so I had to pay him back. Apparently the suit cost five thousand dollars."

Alice said, "I saw the Cheshire Cat earlier. He seemed to be mad at you."

Tarrant smiled while saying, "He sure is."

Alice asked, "Why is he mad at you?"

Tarrant asked, "Can you keep a secret?"

Alice said, "Of course."

Tarrant whispered to Alice, "I sold the Cheshire Cat a hat that was broken in half."

Alice asked, "Why would you do that?"

Tarrant said, "For revenge. Yesterday he drank twice as much tea as he was allowed to have at my tea party yesterday. That's why I only gave him of a hat."

Alice replied, "Well your business seems to be going really well."

Tarrant said, "Yes. I've been selling so many hats recently that I've had to work an extra hour a day."

Alice said, "You're Underland's best hat seller."

A grumpy looking gentleman walked into the hat shop. He was wearing a fancy black suit and top hat. He said, "I need to talk to Mr. Hightopp."

Tarrant replied, "Greetings sir. I'm Tarrant Hightopp." Tarrant offered to shake the gentleman's hand, but the gentleman ignored his offer.

The gentleman said, "I'm Martin Wayne, Underland's best hat seller. Sadly my achievement hasn't been rewarded, because you've unfairly been called Underland's best hat seller."

Tarrant replied, "It's a treat to meet a fellow hat seller."

Martin said, "It's not a treat at all."

Alice asked, "What do you want sir?"

Martin said, "I want Tarrant to put up a sign on his store that calls him Underland's second best hat seller."

Tarrant replied, "But if I did that I would rarely get customers. People go to the best."

Martin said, "You must be honest. I've sold way more hats than you. I've been a hat seller for decades. I've sold a million hats."

Tarrant replied, "I have a suggestion."

Martin asked, "What's your plan?"

Tarrant said, "We should have a hat contest. We should see who can sell the most hats in a week. The winner gets to officially be called Underland's best hat seller."

Martin replied, "Okay." Tarrant offered to shake Martin's hand, but Martin kicked Tarrant away.

Tarrant whispered, "He's never going to be called Underland's friendliest hat seller."

Martin said, "In a week your fake honor of being Underland's best hat seller will end." Martin walked out.

Alice asked, "Are you okay Tarrant?"

Tarrant said, "Of course I am. I'm going to sell tons of hats."

Alice smiled and said, "I believe in you."

Tarrant replied, "This is going to be the biggest hat week that Underland has ever had."

The next day Tarrant was selling hats in his hat shop. Martin snuck into the store to spy on Tarrant's business.

The Dormouse walked up to Tarrant and said, "There's a problem."

Tarrant asked, "What's wrong?"

The Dormouse said, "All of your hats are too big for me."

Tarrant replied, "Don't worry. I'll make you a hat that'll fit you. It'll only take a few hours."

Martin said, "Hold on there Mr. Hightopp. It appears that you don't have hats of all sizes prepared. I'm ashamed of you for your lack of preparation. I always have a hat prepared." Martin handed the Dormouse a hat that fit her head. The Dormouse paid Martin and left.

A few minutes later the March Hare said, "I don't see any hats that I want to get."

Tarrant replied, "Then I'll make you a hat that you'll love. If you tell me what you want the hat to be like it'll only take an hour."

The March Hare responded, "That's a really long time."

Martin walked up to the March Hare and said, "A customer shouldn't be forced to wait such a long time. I can make you a hat in ten minutes."

The March Hare replied, "That's a way better deal than dealing with this slowpoke." Tarrant frowned at the March Hare. For the next half hour Martin convinced a bunch of Tarrant's customers to go to his hat shop.

Alice walked in and asked, "Why is Martin here?"

Martin said, "I was saving the customers from having to waste their time with Tarrant's slow work."

Tarrant replied, "You've been stealing my business."

Alice asked, "Why aren't you at your own hat shop Martin?"

Martin said, "I was on my lunch break. I'm going to rush back there now, because I don't waste customers' time." Martin walked out.

Alice walked up to Tarrant and nervously asked, "How's your hat business going?"

Tarrant said, "I've only sold eight hats today. Martin sold dozens of hats at his shop today. I don't get how he makes hats so fast. It seems like he has a secret."

Alice asked, "Do you think he has other people make the hats for him?"

Tarrant said, "I saw him making hats earlier so he's not liar."

Alice responded, "Don't worry my dear. I'm going to find out his secret."

A few minutes later Alice walked into Martin's hat shop. Martin said, "I know you're not here to buy a hat."

Alice replied, "I've been getting curiouser and curiouser about how you make hats so fast."

Martin proudly said, "I'm an expert. I've been making hats before you were born. It's probably rough hanging out with Tarrant. He makes hats so slowly. You should get the honor of wearing a good hat." Martin put one of the blue hats from his shop on Alice's head.

Alice took the hat off of her head and looked at it. The hat was well made, but it was ordinary looking. She said, "Your hats lack the eccentric charm that Tarrant's hats have."

Martin replied, "That fool wastes time making freaky looking hats while I quickly make normal and charming hats."

Alice returned to Tarrant's hat shop and told Tarrant about Martin's strategy of making plain hats to save time. Tarrant said, "I could try to compete with that by making boring hats. Thankfully I'm not boring. I'm going to keep making weird hats."

A week later the contest was over. Martin walked into Tarrant's hat shop and said, "I sold eight thousand hats during the week."

Tarrant replied, "I sold five hundred hats during the week."

Martin smiled while saying, "I've won the contest. I'm Underland's best hat seller."

Alice replied, "You do a good job of making regular hats quickly, but Tarrant puts more creativity in his hats. He cares about quality than quantity."

Martin said, "Anybody that values quality over quantity isn't good for business."

Alice replied, "You are the hat seller that people can depend on, but Tarrant's surprising creations make his business more exciting."

Tarrant handed Martin a sign that called Martin the best hat seller in Underland. Tarrant said, "You're the winner."

Martin replied, "Thank you Mr. Hightopp. I appreciate the sign." Martin shook Tarrant's hand and walked out.

Tarrant said, "I'm oddly not mad about losing, because I don't feel like a loser. People like my eccentric hats so I'm happy."

Alice smiled and replied, "You're my favorite hat seller of all time."

Tarrant said, "Well being your favorite hatter is a bigger honor than any sign. I'm going to put on a hat that a customer returned recently." He put on a hat that was broken in half.


End file.
